How Do I Know If He's The One?

Hey Ya’ll,

Thanks so much for visiting my blog and for your kind words. I have been reading through your messages and will write my blogs based on your questions.

I’ve read your stories of struggling relationships and heartbreak, many early on in the relationships between young couples dating. I can’t possible know the ins and outs of each situation and I know there will be extenuating circumstances that separate you from the next woman with the same question. However, this question isn’t one I haven’t been asked before. I have two daughters and they have lots of friends who all what to know the answer to that same burning question.

How do I know if he's the one?

One lovely girl wrote that her mother told her, “you just know.” Your mama was right. It’s hard to explain, but you just know.

I usually have a better understanding of the women asking this question and the details of the relationships and have often met the men they are asking the questions of, but I feel the same bubbling response come up to your question.

Relationships shouldn’t be that hard. They just shouldn’t. If you think you have trouble now with a boyfriend over issues faced at a young age, try throwing in the really serious stuff you will face down the road. I’m not belittling what you may be feeling, it’s valid and Lord knows I have been in your shoes. I’d just like to give you a little different perspective.

Imagine being married, paying a mortgage, utility bills, cell phones, car payments, car and health insurance, maybe repaying school loans, credit cards, not to mention all the other bills like food and gas and recreation. Now, throw in having a few kids, being sleep deprived, one is sick and can’t go to school another has a big soccer game and neither of you can miss work. Oh, and your mom is ill and your sister and her husband are going through a divorce and… I could go on for a few more pages, but before I lose you I’ll stop. Do you get the picture? Life can be challenging. There are many beautiful blissful moments in marriage and raising a family, but it is a challenge. If you are having trouble now, when things should be easy and fun and carefree, where are you going to be in this relationship when it gets REAL? That’s the time when your relationship may really be tested, that’s the time you team up and kick butt or fight like cats and dogs and feel like you are sinking. Not fun, right? If you are with the love of your life, your best friend it actually can be fun. My husband and I have been though many of these things and so much more. I said to him just last night, “I’d rather be here next to you than any other place in the whole world without you.” We were holding hands just watching mindless TV and I meant what I said and he looked at me and smiled. That’s all I needed from him, a squeeze of my hand and a smile. Everybody loves differently. Every love story is different.

You have to really look at where you are to figure out where you need to go.

Have a look at your relationship and ask the questions you have asked me. Is he the one? Am I happy? Is he truly kind to me? Are we having fun at least most of the time? Do we laugh together? Does he like me, really like me? Answer those questions and pray about it. You may have known the answer deep down in your heart before you even asked.

Till next time.

Mama Karen

holding hands